WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple    drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.    
An earlier    discussion had led to an argument and    
neither of    them wanted to concede their position. 
As they    passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, 
the husband    asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied,    "in-laws."  
    
W    O R D S 
A husband    read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...    
30,000 to a    man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to    repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,    "What?"     
    
CREATION 
A man    said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be 
so    stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow    me to explain. 
God made    me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would    be attracted to you!  
    
WHO    DOES WHAT 
A man and    his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each    morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,    
and then    we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You    are in charge of cooking around here and 
you    should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."   
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible    
that the    man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show    me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament    
and    showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"     
    
The    Silent Treatment 
A man and his wife    were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent    treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his    wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.    
Not wanting    to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,   
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it.   
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and    he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife    hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper    said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of    contests.        
 
            God may have created man before woman, 
but    there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
 
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